Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Fairy Tale Prompt from Spinning Straw Into Gold

Spinning Straw Into Gold (a truly wonderful blog) is hosting it's second Fourth Fairy Tale Prompt. It goes on until the fourth Friday in next month, which is the 22nd of February. Head on over there and participate in the prompt! Be sure to spend some time looking around her blog - you won't be disappointed.

Below is the prompt (the image) and my response (the poem). The image is lovely; even while there is so much going on in the foreground, the background has a sublte-but powerful- presence. So that's what this poem centers on. Remember- the idea of prompts like this is to encourage and challenge creative thinking, so please don't be afraid to let me know what you think!

To Our Dear Moon; A Letter From The Leaves

Through clouds and stars we ever reach 
We reach, we reach and long for speech,
Speech to learn, to love and teach
Teach the Alder and the Beech.

Our hands are knotted, bent, but strong,
Strong we point and sing our song,
Songs of yearning all yearlong,
Yearlong to sing and to prolong.

We take from you all your might,
might we take from you the night?
Night is twisted, but full of light
Light our way and we'll recite:

Through clouds and stars we ever reach 
We reach, we reach and long for speech,
Speech to learn, to love and teach
Teach the Alder and the Beech.

 For Leaves That Linger; A Moon's Reply

  Some things don't always come in words,
But in the forests, trees, and birds.
So sing your songs of merry mirth, 
 of lasting beauty, joy and birth.
I'll light the way and reach for you,
My leaves of ore- my old and true. 


  1. :D

    I'll try to give a more articulate reply on Monday. (I work all weekend, boo.)

  2. So, in general, I like that it comes in two parts, as a dialogue. The repetition of the first part poem, by continuing the last word of the last line into the first or second word of the next line, is, well, pretty genius. c;

    And you went for traditional meter and rhyme. That is very refreshing. It's almost becoming a lost art, you know?

    You've got a sing-song chant going on. Meter is not my strength, it's very tricky. But I think you have mostly iambs and trochees throughout, and you lose it in the third stanza. Easy enough to fix: "We take from you all OF our might" or "From you we take all of your might." And "Night is twisted, full of light," drop the "but" and you've got it. (But just doesn't work as a stressed syllable in the English language the way it is in the sentence, weird huh?)

    As I'm writing this, I'm tapping out the rhythm on my desk; that really helps if you haven't tried it yet.

    The detail of "Alder" and "Beech" is very nice. I like that you give the leaves "hands," too.

    The moon's reply is sweet, and wise. I think you could do something more original with the "sing your songs" and "lasting beauty" lines. You can enrich the imagery here without sacrificing the end rhyme. I know you can, because you did it with the "hands" line.

    Your poetry reminds me of Tolkien! Thank you so much for sharing this and allowing me to try to help you make it the best it can be!

  3. Thank you so much for reading and for your insight!
    Meter is by no means my strength either. I think I just sort of rely on a natural rhythm. But of course, it's much easier to slip up that way. Your edits to those couple of lines are great! I knew something was nagging at me about them, and you've fixed them in one go!
    I considered making the Moon's Reply as long as the Tree's, but it didn't come to me at the time. I think I'll work on it soon.
    I'm sure you can imagine that reminding someone of Tolkien is the greatest compliment I could imagine! (Though I have to be sure it doesn't turn into typical derivative Tolkien!)

    Thanks again for hosting and for reading- can't wait to read the other entries!


Comments, questions, and challenges are all deeply appreciated. Let's talk!